" I hate when people show you a picture and say 'this is a picture of me when I was younger.' Every picture of you is when you're younger! If someone came up to me and said 'this is a picture of me when I was older', I'd be like 'how'd you do that? Gimme that camera!". - Mitch Hedberg
Bonus joke of the day: "I don't have a girlfriend, I just know a girl who'd get really mad if she heard me say that." -Mitch Hedberg.